Is teaching getting torturous? Homeschooling tips for stressed out parents.

Feeling disheartened?

As the country attempts, yet again, to adjust to a new normal, I have found myself in a weird headspace, trying to balance my role as a primary school teacher, counsellor and parent.

With things as they are, I’m finding It more difficult to feel a sense of accomplishment or pride in my daily achievements and I wonder if others are feeling the same. This may be because, with the new restrictions in place, we are being forced to combine rather than compartmentalise our different roles, in an already busy world.

Something has got to give, right?

Sadly, at times like this, our emotional needs can become compromised. Our mental health can easily be dumped on the back seat to make space for other things. STOP! This is not sustainable and you are at risk of reaching burnout within weeks.

With this in mind, I have put together some helpful ways to get through homeschooling while keeping your mental health at the forefront.

Learning comes in many forms-embrace it

My teaching colleagues and I have a curriculum to follow and a responsibility to deliver it. However, we are also aware that there is more than one way to skin a cat. So, if things are getting too much, there are plenty of ways to learn if you aren’t available to sit beside your child as they painfully scratch out another sentence.

If stress levels are increasing, stick on a great documentary, subscribe to a cool podcast or get the kids involved with some of the other chores you need to do in order to finish the day without stress.

Children like to feel useful; they will all put their hands up if I need a classroom helper to hand out books or sharpen pencils for example. Being helpful and productive can empower children and make them feel part of a household team.

There is so much extra curricular learning that can be done at home, in a way that can’t be catered for in a busy classroom. Your child may take up a new skill, like photography, music making or crafting; write an epic novel or learn to help out with DIY around the house. If you have a particular interest as a parent, they can learn from you in a way that we can’t teach them at school. This is a great opportunity for developing life skills.

Encourage independence

Teach your children to upload their own work, complete their own tasks and trouble shoot their own problems. You’ll be surprised at how independent they can be when accessing software at a very young age and, believe it or not, they enjoy the responsibility of doing the ‘grown up’ jobs themselves.

Sometimes as parents we feel that ‘letting them get on with it’ constitutes ‘lazy parenting’. It doesn’t, particularly when the focus is on problem solving and learning.

However, in order to do this successfully, it may mean that you have to drop your perfectionist standards a little. Of course, the quality of a child’s piece of work will be better if you are sat next to them but they don’t get that luxury at school, so please don’t feel the pressure to do it at home either.

It’s so easy to fall into the belief trap, when uploading your child’s piece of work, that there will be a judgement on you as a parent. There won’t be, I promise!

Giving your child the opportunity to work independently, will allow them to overcome the fear of ‘getting things wrong’ at a young age and build resilience. When their work is complete, take some time to celebrate it with them, whatever it looks like, and balance your feedback with lots of praise and one small area of improvement. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your teachers won’t expect it to be!

Don’t feel bad about stopping

Take regular breaks to avoid mental overload. Get outside, get some fresh air and chat about anything and everything that interests your child. So much learning can happen through conversation. If they are particularly excited about a topic, then run with it. Find websites and TV programmes, paint pictures around that subject area and allow your child to just immerse themselves, whatever the topic might be.

Children are happier when they are leading their own learning. Your teachers won’t mind if you have helped them apply the skills they have been asked to practice to a different context. So please submit these alternative tasks if they do them instead. It’s another example of their fabulous learning.

Negotiate rewards and tasks

Children respond better when they are clear about what they have to do and can work in small steps towards a goal that they have been involved in setting. Separate work into chunks. Agree together to work on a task for a certain amount of time before they can take a break or switch to something different for a while. Boundaries of time are also useful windows to allow yourself to get things done too.

Build in lots of breaks for you and your children. Opportunities to play, to paint, to build and to watch TV or play online games. Screens don’t have to be a bad thing.

When I was young, I was fed the message that TV would make your eyes go square. I don’t subscribe to that, everything in moderation. If your children love TV or online games then ask your teacher to recommend some cool websites or programmes which will allow them to learn while they play, a good alternative if you’re worried that they are playing too much Mario Kart!

Teachers are human beings

Teachers have a job to do but remember that you aren’t the pupil in their online classroom, your child is. If you had a negative experience at school, it’s easy to fear a teacher’s response or judgement and put extra pressure on yourself or your child. We are here to support your child with their learning and we are human beings too. Many of us are parents ourselves and are experiencing exactly what you are experiencing. We get it! Communicate with us and you’ll find that we are probably more approachable than you think!

In summary

Do what you can, and do it in a way that works for your family and your situation. Let your children have some control in how the day is shaped and work together as a team; I promise that you’ll all be happier for it.

I’m off now to teach my eldest son to make a cup of tea. I think it might come in handy this term!

Counselling can help

If you feel that things are getting too much, counselling offers a non judgemental space where you can improve the way you look at yourself, manage your expectations and work on what you feel is missing. If you feel I could help you with that, please do get in touch!